Melvins drummer to beat the Blue Ball Maggots!
The Red Balls have signed their first drummer/defender, securing the signature of Dale Crover from The Melvins.
The hard hitting, slightly obscure defender declared at his unveiling that he detests the Blue Balls.
“I may come across as a bit of a prick when I say this, but the Blue Ball players are nothing but crybabys and bootlickers!”.
While Crover has been commended on his aggression both on and off the field, his new teammates have also lauded his ability to ease the pressure during intense training sessions.
“We came out for a night practice and there he was, nude with boots…and not on his feet either.” remarked one teammate.
His selection into the team, coordinated by November’s guest John Wilkes Booth, is seen as a master stroke given that he has played in a team featuring fellow defender turned midfielder, Dave Grohl. Many are hoping the chemistry between the two can create a nirvana like state that will see them produce magic football that even Houdini would be proud of.
The Red Balls will announce their next signing in January 2016.