Archive for Rock and Goal!

Blue Balls make key(board) signing!

Cox to handle balls in the box for Blues

You could be forgiven for not recognising the man who sat at today’s Blue Ball press conference donning the number one shirt. Whilst he could easily pass as the team’s water boy, he is as far away from Dire Straits as you could get.

Jim Cox is the super star goal keeper keyboardist that everyone has has heard but never heard of. He has played in teams featuring the world’s best. The once mighty striker Ozzy Osbourne, the dynamic wingers Mark Knopfler and BB King and the luckiest footballer ever, Ringo Starr, have all had this great man mop up the loose balls and parry shots over the crossbar.

“We could have gone and got a household name,” said the Blue Ball President, “but we preferred to get a man who we knew would get the job done day in and day out.”

Even this month’s recruiter, Aymeric Ardimanni, had to Google the ivory twinkler’s name – but insists that this Cox is the biggest and most active pianist in the business.

The Blue Balls will announce their next signing in October 2015.


Gilmour tickled pink to join the Reds!

David Gilmour’s signing gives the Red Balls a pulse.

Dave Gilmour joins the Red Balls - It's about time!

Dave Gilmour joins the Red Balls – It’s about time!

Red Ball fans, you wished he was here – and now he is! Manchester based Stoner Rock band, Ten Foot Wizard, have today announced the stunning acquisition of David Gilmour to fulfill one of the Red Ball’s Winger/Lead Guitarist positions.

The board is said that such a landmark signing gives the team high hopes, with the club president stating that Gilmour on their side “could be the difference between us and them!”.

A renowned bender of the ball, Gilmour may use his slick trickery to meddle with the opposition and learn to fly the ball over the Blue Ball wall.

That said, some critics believe that after a major falling out with a teammate of a previous team, he may be joining the Reds more for the cash than anything else.

Gilmour was incensed when a journalist suggested this and his response was equally fiery. “Money!” he quipped, “Get away! Ummagumma run like hell and make the final cut! The issue with my former teammate was a momentary lapse of reason. I’d rather focus on what I contribute here – this should be one of the happiest days of our lives.”

The Red Balls will announce their next signing in September 2015.

Blue Balls think the Bootsy fits

Collins to star for Blue Ball defence.

Get the funk out of the way!

Get the funk out of the way!

This month saw Dan’s BandCampaign guests ‘Heavy Glow’ land the key signature of flamboyant Wing Back/Bass player Bootsy Collins.

With a reputation for being a ‘super bad’ defender, he is also more than happy to get on up to the forward half and have a shot of his own, often leaving opposition defenders bewildered.

His formal introduction to Blue Ball fans was typically outrageous as he strode out to the press and public in a custom designed uniform. After a brief stint in politics, Collins found his calling running off the defensive half like a rubber band.

“Parliament was just not my thing” Collins said “I’d prefer to funk around the ball park than hang with those pollies like Clinton or Franklin.”

His confidence was not shaken when one member of the press suggested he could be the most influential player of the two teams.

“Bootsy? Player of the Year? Well, you just never can tell!”

The Blue Balls will unveil their next recruit in August 2015.

Rock and Grohl for The Red Balls

Red Balls have fighting Foo-tball future!

Defender come midfielder - Dave Grohl

Defender come midfielder – Dave Grohl

Dave Grohl started his career out as a solid defender/drummer, known for his hard hitting and ruthless attack on the ball. Often overshadowed by more flamboyant and troubled team members, Grohl has since made a name for himself as a central midfielder/rhythm guitarist in the second half of his career.

The Red Balls signed Grohl this month, stating that this guy is “no pretender” and was easily their first choice for the position. June’s Podcast guests, Maskin, had no hesitation in selecting the dynamic and hard working midfielder.

“We’re hoping to get the best, the best, the best, the best of him” they stated. “He’s always been my hero and now I get to watch him as he goes…and plays for the mighty Red Balls”.

Fans were equally as enthusiastic, noting that his ability to do the simple things very well and to appear to be everywhere and involved in everything all of the time as really positive traits to have.

Grohl spoke with typical spark at his Red Balls unveiling earlier in the month, stating that he had wanted to play for The Reds all his life and that this was no temporary gig.

“No, not at all. I’ll stick around, for sure! I’m hoping this year is the one for this team and I think we’ll have a breakout season”.

Red Ball fans and backroom staff alike will be hoping that Grohl’s signing is the move that kick starts a winning legacy, as players are picked one by one each month.

The Red Balls will name their next signing in July 2015.



Blue Balls sign Stewart Copeland!

“Rock and Goal!” kicks off with an arresting drummer defender!

And so it begins! The first official player of Dan’s BandCampaign Podcast’s “Rock and Goal!” has been selected.

The inaugural guest of the show, Californian based singer/songwriter Radio Nowhere was able to sign The Police’s Stewart Copeland to fulfill one of the central defender/drummer positions for The Blue Balls.

Blue Ball fans are already praising the signing, stating that Copeland’s no holds barred attitude and his precise technique will set the tone for the rest of the team.

“He’ll be the one that calls the shots from the back for sure.” said one loyal Blue Ball fan, Roxanne. “What better defence could you have than to have a member of The Police to take control! Just let those Red Balls try to score. Every move they make, every shot they take, Stewart will be watching them!”

At his unveiling, Copeland looked focused but expressed enthusiasm and an eagerness to show fans that the Blue Balls were the real deal.

“I’m really honoured to be the first player to be selected for such a prestigious tournament. I’m walking on the moon right now! I’m here to do well and to see the team win. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t stand losing!”

Copeland also stated his tactics were to stick to his opposition attackers like glue, giving them no space to strike.

“I’ll be right in their pockets! They’ll have no room to move. No striker likes me standing so close to them!”

The Blue Balls will add another member in June 2015.